NOT A WASTE OF TIME

oh my gosh.

i haven't realized i am experiencing what i do not expect to happen.

why the hell i'm confused on what i have to do?

i don't even know what i want. i don't even know what i am right now.

it seems that it was way,way,way better when i was in college.

all i have to think is to pass my subjects and pass my thesis as well.

and of course, i did all of those.

i was even excited when i finally knew that, yes, i would be graduating this April.

and when April came nearer as each day passed by, my excitement turned into a fear.

now why fear? because i'm in the real world now. and i am facing it, with no assurance on what i want to happen with my life.

yeah. i got a job. a job i thought i wouldn't enter. but guess what, i did. and working in a so-called call center was like heaven and hell. heaven with the many friends that i have gained and with the salary i had ( but wasn't able to save any of it). and hell because the work shift killed me. it somehow changed my personality. it changed the way on how i treat people. it changed everything.

now that i'm officially unemployed and currently looking for a stable job, i'm sooo damn bored.

it's difficult for me to stay at my house and just browse the Internet, watch movies, watch Asian and American dramas. but well, what can i do? i'm also damn broke. Help!

or maybe. just maybe, God is giving me this idle time to let me think on what i want to do with my life. actually, this bored moments that i am experiencing right now, has helped me learn to value things and people. it helped me become responsible again, slowly. it helped me realize that hey, there's a lot more to happen, i just have to wait and see, and of course, do my part as well.

i've come to realize that i should try and learn new things for me to develop my skills. for me to have new experiences that i can share. and boy, i am about to do that.

and in everything that i can only do as of the moment, i gain knowledge from it. just by merely watching those tv dramas and movies, i can learn some realities of life that i'm bound to experience as well.

and as of the moment, i am currently watching gossip girl series. and i think i would continue watching these TV dramas and movies until i can have a stable job of my own. :)